3. The orange belt

Welcome to the level of the orange belt, and congratulations! From this point on, the training will become significantly more erotic! And finally, you can, in addition, get your partner involved as well, who, perhaps, is already waiting impatiently. But even without a partner, we’re now getting to significantly more enjoyable exercises. That’s a promise!

In order to reap the greatest possible amount of physical pleasure, we must dedicate ourselves to our own body. Only if we know the various possibilities for increasing pleasure can we reach erotic heights – with or without a partner. Therefore, this chapter is aimed at sensual touching.

Sensual Touching

In our fast-paced day, we all look for quick satisfaction. If we’re hungry, then we scarf down a burger, and if we’re aroused, then we have a quickie, or play a round of pocket billiards. As satisfying as fast food may sometimes be, it’s also important to be properly nourished. Fresh spices and ingredients of a higher quality require a bit more time during preparation to become a culinary delight. The satisfaction that comes as a result is, however, incomparably greater than the one promised by a burger. If we’re already too used to fast food or to plain home cooking, then our taste buds need a little practice in order to become sensitive to more nuanced pleasures.

The exercises for sensual touching do exactly that for the sense of touch. Above and beyond that tried-and-true burger, your senses should be sharpened for strange delicacies – in this case, unaccustomed touches.

In our society, given the image of the “tough guy,” it’s considered sissy to sensitize and spoil the senses. But this kind of satisfaction is every bit as manly as excruciating pain – only a lot more pleasant.

We aren’t dealing in these exercises with arousal. We’ll deal with with that when we come to the green belt. Here, enjoyment is front and center. This exercise is especially fun with a partner, and for this reason, the partner exercise (kumite) is introduced first.

Kumite - A Breath of Air

For this partner exercise, the two of you should take a good hour’s worth of time. It will be a thrilling hour, that much I can assure you! Good thing we’re not practicing karate here, since one person gives while the other receives. You can breathe a sigh of relief, knowing that we’re dealing with details of caresses, and not karate chops.

Basically, one of the partners is the active party (the giver), while the other remains passive (the recipient), surrendering completely to the touches. After 20 minutes, places are swapped, so that both partners get their money’s worth, and get to know both sides.

During this exercise, you should do without music, so that the two of you can concentrate completely on the touches. I suggest you use your bedroom as your dojo. Make things comfortable for yourselves on the bed, where the recipient should first lie on his or her stomach. Once the recipient has found a comfortable position, he should maintain it until the next step. You can use oil or lubricant gel, as much as you want, but it also works without it.

The giver begins with slow, sensual touches, which should include the entire body. From a soft pressure with the fingertips on the head, to long, stroking motions down the legs. You can also take the name of the exercise literally and let a breath of air pass over the body. But please use your mouth for that, and not another orifice of your body. When the backside has been provided for, the recipient should lie on his back, with slightly spread legs; find a comfortable position, and maintain it.

Both partners concentrate completely and totally on the touches, and the sensations that they unleash. The recipient should close his eyes and direct his concentration completely on that spot where the touching is taking place. Moreover, the body should be completely relaxed. If the giver notices that the recipient’s attention is waning, or that the body is tensing up, he or she should give a relaxation signal agreed upon beforehand. This could be, for example, a soft knocking or pressing. If the recipient notices that his concentration is wandering – either on its own, or due to the partner’s signal – he should direct his attention once again to the place where the touching is occurring. But the giver as well should concentrate fully on the touches. He or she can enjoy the view that presents itself, and gain an awareness of how the contact feels.

Basically, the exploration should proceed from the outside inwards. Once you’re done with the head, face, hands, feet, arms, legs, breast, and stomach, you can get started with a gentle massage of the genitals. I must stress once again that this exercise has nothing to do with an orgasm. It’s OK if you get an erection, but that’s not the goal. Be very clear that you won’t put it to use, and no unpleasant sense of pressure will arise. In this exercise, as they say, the path itself is the destination.

There are a few tips as to how one should touch a woman. The touches should be carried out in ever-narrowing circles, around particularly sensitive areas. Thus, you can, for example, first make broad circles around the breast, before making your way, with stroking motions, to the nipples.

Since the recipient keeps his or her eyes closed, a shiver may caused if there is an unexpectedly long interval between particular touches. If, for example, you move over the collarbone for 1-3 seconds, and then jump to the inner side of the thigh, this is extremely stimulating for most women. Use this technique as a variation, but don’t go overboard.

Furthermore, many women like it when the fingers glide over the hollow of the knee and the elbow, like a breath of air. Other women, on the contrary, feel this to be unpleasantly ticklish. But the exercise is constructed precisely in order to get to the bottom of what pleases you and your partner the most.

During the exercise, you can completely explore your partner – from the inside as well. Pay attention to the other’s signals, so that you notice if a touch is unpleasant. Be soft and tender, and pay attention to your own feelings, both as the recipient and as the giver. You should only speak, during the entire exercise, if something is unpleasant for you.

If the two of you have played both roles, and have both properly spoiled each other, then the exercise is over. What you do to each other now is between the two of you; I have no desire to even hear about it. OK, actually, I’d be quite interested…

1. sample: the road to mastery